“How was your day?”
“Fine.”
Conversation over.
Many parents worry that short answers mean their teen doesn’t want to talk at all. But often, teens are just tired, unsure how to start, or testing whether it’s safe to say more.
Why big questions can shut things down
Questions like “What’s wrong?” or “What happened today?” can feel huge to a stressed teen. They may not have the words yet, or they may worry you’ll be upset by the full story.
So instead of opening up, they give the smallest answer possible — “fine,” “okay,” or a shrug — and wait to see how you react.
Try small, specific openers
Instead of broad questions, try tiny, concrete starting points. For example:
- “What was the easiest part of today?”
- “Who made you laugh at least once?”
- “On a scale from ‘today was great’ to ‘today was trash,’ where are you?”
These questions are easier to answer, and they give you something to gently follow up on if your teen seems open.
Pair curiosity with calm presence
Real conversations often happen while you’re doing something side-by-side: driving, folding laundry, walking the dog, cooking. Eye contact can feel intense; parallel activity can feel safer.
You might say:
“I’d love to hear one thing that felt good or hard about today, whenever you feel up for it. No pressure.”
Then let the silence breathe. Teens notice when you’re available without pushing.
A simple line that helps
The next time you’re hoping for more than “fine,” you might say:
“I don’t need the whole story, but I’d love one tiny snapshot of your day — something that made it better or worse.”
It invites your teen to share at their own pace, while reminding them you genuinely want to know their world.