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Talking About Dating and Crushes With Your Teen (Without Freaking Them Out)

Stay calm, curious, and clear about your values — all at the same time

Published: December 2025

Parent and teen walking together talking about dating and relationships

“When teens trust they can talk about crushes without getting a lecture, they’re more likely to come to you when it really matters.”

— Sage

You overhear a name that keeps coming up. Or you see a text, a smile, a sudden urgency about how they look before school.

Welcome to the world of teenage crushes and early dating — a place where your own feelings (pride, worry, nostalgia) can run just as high as theirs.

Show you can handle the topic

If your teen worries you’ll overreact, they’ll keep their love life hidden. You can lower the stakes by staying steady and curious.

You might say:

“Sounds like you might really like this person. If you ever want to talk about it — or just roll your eyes about it — I’m here for that.”

You’re inviting conversation without demanding details.

Ask more about feelings than gossip

Instead of drilling for information — “Who is it?” “Do they like you back?” — try questions that help your teen notice their own experience:

  • “What do you like about being around them?”
  • “How does your body feel when you see their name pop up?”
  • “What feels exciting, and what feels stressful about this?”

This keeps the focus on their inner world, not just the drama.

Share your values in calm, short pieces

It’s important for teens to know your values around respect, consent, communication, and safety. But long speeches can make them shut down.

Try sprinkling in short lines over time, like:

  • “I care a lot that anyone you’re with treats you with real kindness.”
  • “You never owe anyone access to your body or your time.”
  • “You can always text me a code word if you need an exit.”

A simple line that helps

The next time you sense a crush or new relationship, you might say:

“I’m glad you feel safe telling me about this. You deserve someone who respects you, and I’m always here to help you sort out what feels healthy or not.”

It keeps the door open — so when dating gets complicated, they’ll know where to turn.


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